Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
