There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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