i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
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