oh god the rape fog is back!
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize