I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I am mentally ready for anal.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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