i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
