True but thats because hes a fetus.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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