If i come over, it means nothing
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
