Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
