You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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