This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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