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so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
