Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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