So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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