We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Randomize
