none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
