Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
