I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
porn star boner night. come get it.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Randomize
