Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
