Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
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