just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
