In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I want her autograph on my taint
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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