I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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