This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
