You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Randomize