I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
