dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
