You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
