hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I am naked and annoyed.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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