if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Randomize