i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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