This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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