hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
The power of my boobs compel you
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Randomize
