never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
