I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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