my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Two words: nipple clamps
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