So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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