grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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