I love black thongs
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
