We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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