did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
