he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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