Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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