where am i from again
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
