I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
You're like the curious george of whores
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
