My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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