That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Randomize
