walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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