I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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