Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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