Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
