Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
