very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
