My hair reeks of homosexuality.
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Randomize
