You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
