We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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