do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
My liver just broke up with me...
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Gay?
German.
Pity.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Randomize
