Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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