Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
