forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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