You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
