Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize