Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Don't tell me you're on acid again
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
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