Your face is a jimmy john
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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