awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Randomize
