tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
