I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
