FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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