Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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