he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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