I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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