currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I just found puke in my bra..
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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