when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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