Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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