If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Randomize
