Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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