smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
